Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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