we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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