im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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