Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
