Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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