So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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