Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
