HIV tests are more positive than that guy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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