Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize