Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
