I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
