We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
