I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
