you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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