He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
