I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
