his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
