i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
