so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
