Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
