omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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