we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
