Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm really busy with my period
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