Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
