You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
