Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize