Someone shit on the floor
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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