my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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