i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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