how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm too high and old for this...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
