The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
