Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
