come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
