Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
