she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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