OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Everclear isn't food dammit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
