It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
