i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize