i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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