I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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