how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
