Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
