its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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