your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
