i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
