Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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