isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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