bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
