he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
