I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
