I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
