Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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