love makes seman taste better
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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