You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
