Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
