apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think people are normalizing furries
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
