Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
