People in love make me want to vomit
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
