i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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