Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
