She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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